America’s Six Foot Tiki

By | September 27, 2013

Dear Selected Members of the U.S. House of Representatives,

I used to think of myself as a fiscal conservative, I guess because I thought among other things I ought to pay the bills for things I’ve bought. Even stuff that I kinda wish I hadn’t, like that awesome 6 foot tall tiki statue I got in Hawaii on our honeymoon.

Now I’m learning from you guys that “fiscal conservative” means you only have to pay for stuff you still like, like that new road that goes from NoPlace to NoWhere, built by your biggest contributor back in your district. Heck, I thought if anyone would be in favor of paying our bills as a country, it would be fiscal conservatives. But now there’s this Obama guy – you know, that crazy, wild-eyed liberal? Get this: he thinks we ought to pay our bills.

I know. Delusional. But still. Maybe he’s on to something. Pay Your Bills. It’s catchy. Words of one syllable. Something your supporters could get behind and even read without moving their lips.

Think about it, will ya?

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